August 14, 2025

It’s a little cliché, but I have to start here: I married my best friend. Which is really convenient when you’re in the trenches of parenthood and need someone to vent to, cry to, or problem-solve with — because your best friend is literally always in the house.

From the start, he’s been my “yes, let’s figure it out” person. New hobby? He’s helping me gather supplies. Wild new plan? He’s helping me think it through. I’m a teacher — if I wanted to rearrange all 25 desks in my classroom, he’d show up after school to help.

We’ve always been a good team. We once sold our home in Florida, left my family, and moved to Massachusetts so he could go back to school and change careers. We lived in a basement apartment on one paycheck. We worked through it together. So when we pictured parenthood, we thought, We’ve got this.

And then reality hit. Hard.

We often joke that couples who have a baby to “save” their marriage are misinformed. Let me save you some time: it’s not the fix you think it is.

The Early Days

Our son Noah was born six weeks early. He spent 16 days in the NICU. The day I was discharged without my baby was one of the worst days of my life. That was not the plan.

But my husband — my best friend — was exactly who I needed. He held me while I cried (several times a day), enforced my rest, brought me water, rubbed my back, and sat with me through waves of sadness I couldn’t explain. He was my voice of reason and my safe place.

When Noah finally came home, things didn’t get easier. My emotions got worse. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. If you’ve been there, you know it’s not something you choose. It’s one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced — feeling like a bad mom, drowning in self-hate, all while my body waged hormonal war against me.

Through it all, he stayed. He rubbed my back when I cried that I didn’t know how to hold the baby. He propped me up as I learned to breastfeed. He told me I was beautiful in the same body that grew our tiny miracle. He would wake up in the middle of the night to keep me company, telling me I was doing great… and sometimes drifting off halfway through the sentence. I still take the compliment — even if he was asleep before he finished it.

Four Months Later

Now, in the middle of the night, in the throes of sleep training and cluster-feeding, he’s still here — snuggling me while I cry that I’m “doing it wrong.” He reminds me that we’re new at this, and that we’re doing our best.

He can’t nurse the baby, but he wakes up anyway. He holds my hand. He makes sure I eat so I don’t commit any crimes fueled by hanger. He fills my water bottle. He gives me the reassurance I need, exactly when I need it.

To My Husband

Being a mom is hard. Being a dad and supporting your family through those hard moments is hard too. You’ve been the quiet anchor holding us steady when everything else feels overwhelming.

You’re my rock. My home. My partner in crime.

I love you. And I couldn’t do this without you.